A letter from Paul Martin?

This letter came to me by email today. It’s a parody along the lines of the Nigerian email scam. Enjoy!

Request For Urgent Business Relationship

FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND ‘TOP SECRET’.

My name is Paul and I was the Minister of Finance in a corrupt one party state. Jean and I have $100 million dollars trapped in our joint account at a Caisse Populaire in Shawinigan. I urgently need your assistance in freeing these trapped funds.

You see this corrupt one-party state isnt corrupt any more. Oh, no. We are an honest, transparent, forthright government committed to the highest ideals of government service. Together we stand on the edge of the future, where the politics of achievement will unleash potential hitherto unimagined. But first, there is the matter of the money. I have to get rid of it before the public inquiry finds it and I need your help.

Do NOT send your banking information (What do you think this is, some Nigerian scam?). No, just bring a bunch of empty suitcases and take this letter to your local RCMP and they will set you up with a non-government account. They will close the account and destroy the evidence after the money has been transferred and you have packed the suitcases. You might want to rent a pickup truck to carry them. Do not worry about getting the police involved, they are on the side of the good guys. They have done this sort of thing before.

Then all you have to do is take the money down to the port of Montreal and put in on the next CSL ship bound for the Caribbean, and the Captain will give you your commission on the transaction. You can recognize the ship easily; it is the one flying the Liberian flag. Oh, and you might want to bring a translator who knows a bunch a Third World languages. These ships are staffed with a bunch of illiterates, but once you have delivered the message they will know to which tax haven they have to go. They have made this run with the other $161 million.

But please hurry. I need your help with this urgently

Your friend,
Paul

The Leadership debate

I just arrived home from the leadership debate in Ottawa and it was an interesting and enthusiastic day.

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The debate was a perfect showcase for our leadership contestants and a great showcase for our party. While Belinda Stronach, Stephen Harper and Tony Clement debated the issues, there was a consensus, indeed among the audience as well, that change needs to occur in government and that Paul Martin has lost his right to rule.

Interesting notes from the debate:
Belinda Stronach started her opening statement in French and spoke confidently. She spoke with strength and poise during the entire debate and never faltered significantly. She certainly surpassed everyone’s expectations.

Tony Clement tried to show that he was in charge of the debate. He would often move the debate towards certain candidates, shifting the discussion. “Now Belinda, you assert that…”, “Stephen, I want to get back to that point”. Clement certainly had the most ease about him and he managed to share some wit as well. After listing his qualities, he rhetorically asked, “Now, who do you want for leader”, to which one Belinda supporter yelled out “Belinda!”. Tony laughed and concluded that he wouldn’t be asking anymore rhetorical questions.

Stephen Harper discussed the issues. He kept referring to his record in parliament and his role in merging the two parties. Tony Clement replied that contrary to Harper’s belief, he (Tony) and Belinda had every right to be there as Belinda was instrumental in joining the two parties together. The greatest criticism of Harper came as a concern that he will not appeal to Canadians outside of Alberta.

The Stronach supporters and Harper supporters were out in full force, filling much of the hall. Clement’s supporters had a modest showing equaling roughly one third of either the Belinda boosters or the Harperites. There were many Conservative senators in attendance and Peter MacKay was also present. Harper’s supporters in the hall were of all ages, while about 90% of Stronach’s supporters, in the hall, were under 25.

The best ideas to come out of the debate:
Belinda Stronach proposed a Youth Advisory Council where Parliamentary decisions could be guided by youth input.
Tony Clement proposed a Parliamentary Budget Office where parliamentarians could do year-round research on the fiscal numbers proposed by the Ministry of Finance.

All three candidates had a strong showing. The only clear loser appeared to be the Liberal party as the Conservative candidates underlined the Liberal scandals and arrogance every chance they got.

There was no clear winner. Every candidate seemed to perform as they needed to perform. However, I would give a special nod to Ms. Stronach. Many of her detractors believed that she would have crumbled under the parliamentary debating experience of Stephen Harper and Tony Clement. However, she continues to impress and has clearly shown today that she not only deserves to be in the race, but also deserves serious consideration for the leadership of the Conservative Party of Canada. Tony Clement also was very impressive and showed that he is indeed somewhat of a scrapper and very capable debater. Stephen Harper didn’t present anything new and, as already said, relied on his record. However, Stephen Harper did have the most to lose, so his defensive yet consistant policy positions served him well for this debate.

Watch the Leadership Debate

The leadershipship race for the Conservative Party of Canada today will feature a debate between Tony Clement, Stephen Harper and Belinda Stronach today on CPAC at 2pm. For those of you without cable I found a CPAC live webfeed. I’ve got tickets for the Ottawa debate so I’ll be reporting back here on all the details.

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CPAC live feed (please select language below to watch the debate live at 2pm)
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